Bisexual Killjoy

In today’s episode, “Sleeping with the Patriarchy: Bisexual Men and Masculinity,” we’re talking about bi+ men and feelings of masculinity. Just a bit of a heads-up, today’s paper is about sex, so if you’re carpooling or at home around folks or young-uns that you don’t want to hear about that, grab your headphones!
Also buckle up, because honey, Bailey and Jace have thoughts, and lots of ‘em. Bi+ guys, know that these killjoys love you and it is for this exact reason why we need to discuss and critique this article and the data they collected. And for all of our listeners, we hope that today’s discussion brings you clarity on how you can be a better partner to your special someone(s). So, as some wise philosophers once said, let’s talk about sex, baby.
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks about all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com 
 
Resources
James P. Ravenhill, Jason Preston, Richard O. de Visser & Júlio Molica (2026) “I Feel More Masculine Having Sex with a Woman Than Being Fucked by a Man”: Masculinity and Bisexual Men's Experiences of Sex with Women and Men, The Journal of Sex Research, 63:5, 812-824, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2024.2413695 
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks about all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
This week we’re taking a closer look at what researchers mean when they say “bisexual,” and why the answer matters. We unpack “To Bi: An Exploration of Sexual and Romantic Identities, Attractions, and Behaviors,” a study exploring how sexual and romantic attraction relate to people’s experiences and whether they identify as bi. We break down the distinction between who you’re attracted to and who you’ve actually been with, including the finding that sexual history didn’t significantly predict whether someone identified as bi. If you’ve ever wondered whether you need a particular dating history to call yourself bisexual, there’s something here for you.
We also get into the choices researchers make before the results ever reach us, including this study’s decision to separate bisexual and pansexual identities. How do those choices shape what we can learn about bi+ people? And how do the definitions used to study us relate to the language we use to find each other and build community? Along the way, we talk about where we agree with the authors, where we push back, and why doing research that serves bi+ people means being clear about who’s included…and who’s missing.
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com 
Resources:
Vonlanthen, C., Savoie, É., & Roy-Charland, A. (2026). To Bi: An Exploration of Sexual and Romantic Identities, Attractions, and Behaviors. Journal of Bisexuality, 26(1), 78–102. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2025.2566033 
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks about all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
This week we’re unpacking "Sincere But Suspect," a new study on how bi+ women are perceived when they express their identity in the dating world. We break down why bisexual displays, like changing how you present on dates with men versus dates with women, can lead others to see bi+ women as less authentic, less likeable, and less trustworthy. Plus, we get into the study's surprising finding that straight men still want to date bi+ women even when they don't trust them…
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com 
Resources:
Baron, L., Deska, J.C. Sincere But Suspect: Perceptions of Bisexual Women’s Authentic Expression in the Dating Context. Arch Sex Behav 55, 1975–1988 (2026). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-026-03483-5 
Herek, G. M. (2002). Heterosexuals’ attitudes toward bisexual men and women in the United States. Journal of Sex Research, 39(4), 264–274. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224490209552150 
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

We promised you cutting-edge research, and you know the killjoys make good on their promises. That’s right, we’re discussing the recent March 2026 article, “From Self-Stigmatization to Self-Affirmation: Plurisexual People’s Experiences with Internalized Sexual Stigma and Positive Identity Attitudes,” by Clara McNamee, J. Roy Gillis & Abby L. Goldstein, published in the Journal of Bisexuality.
After hearing a lot of chatter online about how bi+ identities don’t exist or that bi+ people need to make themselves smaller, we chose this article first to discuss the power of positivity, even if that positivity is only coming from within. So buckle up, it's time to learn how cool research is and why affirming your identity is actually really important!
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks about all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com 
Resources:
McNamee McNamee, J. Roy Gillis & Abby L. Goldstein (2026) From Self-Stigmatization to Self-Affirmation: Plurisexual People’s Experiences with Internalized Sexual Stigma and Positive Identity Attitudes, Journal of Bisexuality, 26:3, 415-447, DOI: 10.1080/15299716.2026.2633762
Sound engineer: Richie Smith
 

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! Online “discourse” is at an all-time high, and it’s about time we started building a solid foundation. Season 6 is here to gather the skills and tools you need so we can get to work!
You know us and our love for a good book, research article, and well-explained methods. Over the next 9 episodes, we hope to instill some of that same love in you by going over the latest in Bi+ research across disciplines. And like Jace says, “We’re gonna co-construct a reality based on actual truth, goddamit!” 
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks about all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com 
Resources:
Check out the upcoming International Bi+ Research Conference: https://www.bisexualresearch.com/ibrcconference2025cfp-1-1 
Check out BiWeekly shop for Bi+ Fashion: https://biweekly.shop/ 
For more information on the Attraction, Identity, and Behavior Model, check out our blog post: https://open.substack.com/pub/bisexualkilljoy/p/but-my-actions-dont-define-me?r=3ma0e6&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web 
Learn more about science and post-truth:
Chalmers, A. (2013). What is this thing called science? (4th ed.). University of Queensland Press.
Fuller, S. (2018). Post-Truth: Knowledge as a power game. Anthem Press.
Malcolm, D. (2021). Post-Truth Society? An Eliasian Sociological Analysis of Knowledge in the 21st Century. Sociology, 55(6), 1063–1079. https://www.jstor.org/stable/27108945
McIntyre, L. C. (2018). Post-truth. MIT Press. 
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

We’re winding down this season on love, and what better way to bid you farewell than with a love letter? This episode is a walk down memory lane of all the nooks and crannies love encompasses. We’re so grateful for bell hook’s guidance with her book, All About Love, and all of you who took the time to read and reflect with us. We do this work because we love you.
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com  
Resources:
hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999)
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

We don’t shut up about Bi+ community, and this season sure wasn’t going to be the exception. We’re firm believers that Bi+ community is the life-hack we all need to embrace so we can feel confident in our queerness and bring forth the Bi+ revolution we didn’t know we needed. Sit with Bailey and Jace in this episode that exists as a living love letter to Bi+ communities around the world.
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com  
Resources:
hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999)
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Are friendships important? Can you be friends with folks of the genders they’re attracted to? Can bisexuals even HAVE friends? These questions have plagued us since we came out, and now we’re here to share our answers with you. Friendships are crucial for us to foster healthy interdependence and learn how to love selflessly. In this intimate conversation with Bailey and Jace, we cover all the basics on how friendship shows up for Bi+ people.
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com  
Resources:
Cohen, R. (2024). The Other Significant Others. St. Martin’s Press.
hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999)
Rich, A. (1980). Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence. Signs, 5(4), 631–660. http://www.jstor.org/stable/3173834
https://www.biwomenquarterly.com/against-the-hierarchy-centering-friendship-in-bi-womens-relational-lives/ 
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

For a lot of polyamorous people, being Bi+ is an important part of their lived experience. In this episode, our hosts expand on how both polyamory and Bi+ness are philosophically intertwined. From unpacking imposed relationship norms, to celebrating the abundance of love that surrounds us, this episode holds beautiful insights on what it means to nurture yourself so you can gift more to others.
Jace is so looking forward to meeting you at the Bi+ World Conference! Haven’t registered yet? Check out all the details here.
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com  
Resources:
hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999)
Klesse, C. (2017). Theorizing multi-partner relationships and sexualities – Recent work on non-monogamy and polyamory. Sexualities, 21(7), 1109–1124. https://doi.org/10.1177/1363460717701691 
Spiedel, L. (2025). Relationships: Dating, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy. In Bisexuality beyond binaries: Celebrating multiple bisexual identities in a world of erasure. Routledge.
Weitzman, G. (2006). Therapy with Clients Who Are Bisexual and Polyamorous. Journal of Bisexuality, 6(1-2), 137–164. https://doi.org/10.1300/j159v06n01_08 
Sound engineer: Richie Smith

The question that abounds in Bi+ subreddits and support groups is: If you’re already married, does being Bi+ even matter? This episode, we give this question the attention it deserves. From opening your marriage to Bi+ community involvement, we dive deep into the most common pain points for our married Bi+ listeners.
Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. 
As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com  
Resources:
Give It to Me Bi: Learning to “B” Proud. An advice column on how to come out to your children.
Frisk, M. J. (2021, February). Maintaining my bi identity while married. bi.org. https://bi.org/en/bi-stories/staying-bi-while-married/
hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999)
Parker, K., & Minkin, R. (2023, September 14). Views of divorce and open marriages. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/09/14/views-of-divorce-and-open-marriages/
Spiedel, L. (2025). Relationships: Dating, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy. In Bisexuality beyond binaries: Celebrating multiple bisexual identities in a world of erasure. Routledge.
Sound engineer: Richie Smith